Friday, July 9, 2010

The West, West Coast (Day 70)

Here in Newport. Man, it's amazing. Trying not to miss the Mr. to much but what can I say...I miss him. I wish he was here to experience this with me. To see everything, to be in this awesome condo...he would love it. Don't get me wrong, this is going to be a blast but without him I just feel guilty and wish he were here.

The bed feels especially empty. Why do some nights seem worse than others? It's not because I am in a condo, not because I am not in my own bed. Where is my own bed? Where is home? Home is where I make it, and right now - I haven't made it anywhere. My parents house is my old home, it's not the same. My friends house actually did begin to feel like home. It was nice having someone around, someone who was doing the same thing everyday. I won't have a home until September. So until then, I feel like every bed gets more and more empty and I feel like the more time that goes by the less I can remember of how things were. I try to look at pictures and when we talk I try to bring back memories. It feels so good to talk about things we used to do together, I can't even explain how good it feels. So maybe tonight I am having a bad night and just feeling gloomy. Whatever, it's expected right? Well it has been 70 days since I last saw the hubby in the flesh, 70 days since I felt him, and 70 days since I have felt normal. I'll be fine when I wake up I'm sure; off to dreamland and hoping to see him.

I love you babe. Forever and Ever, Amennn right?
Your the one I'd lay down my own life for, and your
everything I've ever wanted, everything I neeeed,
I talk about you I go on and on and on. Because you're
everything to me....

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