Monday, July 18, 2011

Running Out of Patience...

Yesterday was Sunday, and Sunday is definitely not FUNday. It is grocery shopping, errand running, driving in traffic, crappy, Sunday. It's the only day me and the hubby get time together because I work Saturdays and have Sundays and Mondays off. So, while I do wait all week for Sunday to come, once it arrives, I dread it. Let me explain.

Let's start with Costco. Yes, I absolutely love buying in bulk at such awesome prices. I'm all for it. But when I go to Costco, I don't find it necessary to bring all five of my kids, my uncle, my grandma, and my neighbor with me. I also don't bring all those people and then just stand around in the middle of the walk way and talk about why I am such an idiot. I mean, come on!? You're grocery shopping, it's not a carnival. What are your kids, all below the age of 10, going to do? Help you decide the better deal on cheese? Leave. Them. At. Home. I am not the only one who would thank you for this. Oh and while you're at it, speak English, and wear clothes that people won't cringe at. Thanks.

So once we do all of our grocery shopping we have to come home and unload it. Which would be fine, if the people who designed our apartment complex would have put any thought into it at all. We live on the 2nd floor which is what I wanted so I didn't have to listen to anyone living above us. Well, our stairs are so narrow that your can't carry grocery bags up them without going up the stairs sideways. Joy. So 20 trips up and down the stairs and we're finally done. Then, it's time to figure out how to fit 2 weeks worth of groceries into a fridge that can hold a few TV dinners and a carton of milk. All the luxuries of living California, and all of this can be yours, for just 1500 dollars a month! Yayyyy!

Now, whenever something small happens, Weikle and I just get super irritated and yell about how we hate this state. Then after we make fools of ourselves, we laugh it off and say "only a few more months". I'd give anything to be in Tonopah right now, on a dirt road, drinking a beer, and no one around. No buildings, no cars, and no attitudes. Just wide open land.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

8 months later...

It's been almost 8 months since he came home. Can you believe that!? It seems so unreal. It definitely does not feel like it has been that long ago.
Reading back through some of my previous posts sparks a lot of emotion inside me. It was so hard, almost unbearable at times. Seeing him leave now even if only for a week just breaks me and I feel so hurt. Then, two days into him being gone, I'm fine. I feel like he could be gone 7 months again. Not because I'm strong, or because I need my time alone, but because I know it benefits both of us for him to be doing what he loves to do. This deployment made me realize something about myself too. The military life is exactly what I need, because I need change. I can't stand being in the same apartment for too long, or working the same dead end job for longer than 6 months, etc. I thrive when I have new responsibilities, new surroundings.

Being in California makes me want new surroundings EVEN more. Words cannot even describe how horrible living here is. The people, the roads, the prices, everything. I hate it all. And my new job, its easy and totally worth the money, but these California people.... wait until you hear some of these stories. Everyone always says, "Don't you just love the beach?" and I just cringe. Because there is not one beach worth the day to day shit you put up with living in California. Four miles from the beach and I have been there maybe 4 times in the past year. I just want to be out of the city. I want to have my 2-5 acres, dirt roads, and not almost be rear ended 5 times a day. I'm so over California.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's Almost Time (Day 205)

I'm almost done counting, I'm almost done with this deployment. We made it. There were times during the deployment that it seemed impossible. The first month, the fourth month, and the 6 month marks were the worst. No doubt about it. But I knew we could do it. And to my surprise...I will have gone 207 days without Skype. I thought I was going to die not being able to Skype because he was so busy. Then, we got 5 and a half months into the deployment (he was still busy all the time) and we just decided that we would try and go "old school". So we didn't Skype even when we got the chance. So really, I haven't looked at my husband in 7 months. I'm pretty proud of myself, and we both agreed it should make the homecoming that much more special.

I've been sort of busy getting everything ready for him to come home. First, I have to feed the puppy, play with the puppy, and then I have to get the puppy to take a nap so I can get things done. Just another thing that confirms I won't be having kids anytime soon. It has been interesting. But, it has helped me space things out so I have things to do every day. Time still doesn't seem to go fast enough though.

I really don't have much to clean because I am a clean freak all the this has led to me obsessively cleaning. I'm cleaning baseboards and window sills. And I might have re-organized and cleaned the inside of every cabinet in the apartment. Think he will notice? Most likely not. But hey, I know its clean. Clean makes me happy and gives me a better day. It never fails. I still have a few extra things to do for him tomorrow and I'm excited about it.

Off topic a little bit...Sarah Palin's new show "Sarah Palin's Alaska" is absolutely amazing. You may love me or hate me for this but, I think me and her would be best friends. She's awesome. And look at Alaska, it's amazing, so she must be doing something right. I love her. And I would love to move to Alaska. Seriously.

Also, in the past week, I have seen two different cars with stickers that say "RIP Michael Jackson" and then the years he lived. Is that really necessary? Probably not.

Some people, I will never understand them.

I absolutely love my life, my husband, myself, my puppy. And soon, I will be eating dinner with him, not eating cereal for all three meals of the day. Life will be back in session. I could not ask for more.

Oh and not to toot my own horn, but I'm looking amazing right now. The past 7 months of working out and taking care of myself have done me good. Can't wait for him to see me, I'm thinking he'll be surprised.

Hope everyone has a great week! I know I will!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I'd Do Anything (Day 197)

As if having a puppy isn't enough to handle - I am getting sick too. He's a pretty calm dog, but when he wants to play, he really wants to play. I'm talking like running around as fast as he can in the grass outside and leaping over 4 foot tall bushes. Yeah - at 3 AM. Meanwhile, I have on 3 jackets and 2 scarves and I'm freezing my ass off (I'm from Arizona, remember?). So now I have some kind of cold, or at least I hope that is all it is.

Weikle's homecoming might be setting in now. I think about it and I feel sick to my stomach. I get horrible butterflies and feel so nervous. Seriously, I feel like I am racing again and the 30 second board just went up. I keep pacing around my apartment and looking at everything to make sure it's perfect. I hang something, then I take it down, then I put something else there, then I end up putting things back where they were. I have a list of exactly how I am going to clean everything and exactly what cleaning products I will use. Obsessive much?

Another Saturday night in bed and alone -- but guess what? I only have one more Saturday night alone. Then, every Saturday night for the next 60 years I will spend with my best friend. We'll be 80 years old, quoting movies, working out, and arguing over the game Monopoly on Wii. No big deal. Of course, this is only if he doesn't reenlist again after 4 more years. But, I would do this deployment again. I'd do anything he asked me to. I couldn't imagine my life without him, even if it means talking to him on the phone for 7 months. Bring it on, throw anything at our marriage, we'll show you what being best friends and being in love is all about.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 192

My titles for these posts are just sooo exciting, I know. But, I am out of titles. My brain can't think of anything witty or cute anymore.

I remember when I was excited about reaching Day 10, I was excited about the double digits. Man, I had no idea what I was in for. We are almost to Day 200 now. I have been through a lot of ups and downs in the past 192 days. I am so ready for life to be back to normal. I am so ready to see him and kiss him until he can't take it anymore. My best friend is almost home and damn does it feel good. So good.

Yesterday, we welcomed a little boy into our family. We named him Remi, after Remington shotguns. That was the husbands idea and I loved it. He is a pure bred chocolate lab and he is 13 weeks old. He weighs a little over 30 pounds already...he's going to be a big boy. He's very well behaved. He has his head asleep on the side of my computer as I am typing this. I tried to add a picture to this post, but for some reason it isn't working.

I'm getting last minute things ready for the hubby's return. Organizing, working out, and more organizing. I'm going to have to color my hair, get my nails filled, and keep on tanning. Ahhh I love it. So stoked.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Day 186

I really don't even know what to say. It's November, finally. I look at my phone and it says "November 2nd 10:52AM" and I smile. November!? I can't even believe it. I've sat here for 186 days and thought about what it would be like for it to be November, what his homecoming day would be like. I've thought about if I still know how to kiss or not, how I will do my hair, if my teeth will be white enough... Every day it's crossed my mind. You plan for this day from the moment they leave. He stepped on that bus and I was already ready for him to be home. I can't wait to be in his arms. To feel that comfort again, to know I have my best friend by my side again. I have waited and waited for this and now, here I am, just a few weeks away from experiencing it. Will I cry? Will I laugh? Will I even be able to function when I see him? Maybe it will be a mixture of everything and I will look like an idiot. Who knows. I think I will be shocked. Just touching him and not being able to comprehend he is actually there with me. I don't want to cry, I want to look good for him. But who knows what will happen.

I do know that this will be the most fulfilling and exciting day of my life. I've laid in bed so many nights and thought about him and what he's doing. Soon, I will know. He'll be next to me and I won't have to worry. He'll be safe, no one will want him dead, and I can relax for the first time in 7 months. I won't have to carry my phone around like it's keeping me alive anymore, I won't have to make sure the battery is completely charged everywhere I go. In fact, I think I will shut the damn thing off for a couple weeks. No more Facebook for communicating with him. No more Yahoo. No bad connections. No more worrying about anything. Just happy. Not feeling alone when you're surrounded by people. I won't cringe every time I see a couple kissing. I won't change the channel when there is a love movie on. I've never wanted anything more than for him to be home. Never.

In just a few weeks I won't be alone anymore. I'll have the man who makes me laugh all the time, the man I would do anything for and know he would do the same. Dependable. I miss that more than anything. To know no matter what, he's there for me. I love this man with everything I have and this deployment has killed me. It's almost over and that is keeping me going. We've come so far and been so strong, it's been unbelievable. Our first year of marriage is almost over. Unfortunately, I have seen my husband less than 4 months in one year. Well, they say the first year is the hardest, I can definitely agree with that.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

You've Been Gone for Far too Long (Day 177)

Love this picture. Love that it was really hard for me to reach my arm all the way around you like that but I didn't want to let go. We are so close to this being over. It is so easy to get really excited and be super optimistic. And then it is really easy to say that it's still too far away. Mixed emotions right now definitely. We've gotten to the point where I only miss you occasionally and I think you don't take my love notes seriously. It's getting old doing the phone and internet communicating thing and we're just ready for you to be home. I think it's probably the 6 month mark where you start to really get used to someone being gone and it's a horrible feeling.
I wear your green tee's, leave your camis on the floor still, and spray your cologne on my pillow just to make sure I keep on missing you. It gets tough. Especially for you. You want normal living conditions. You hardly have anything that reminds you of me, mostly nothing that reminds you of me. It's been 177 days since I saw your smile, looked in your eyes, touched is crazy. I love you so much, we'll get through the last part of this. I promise. And all of this will have been worth it. You getting promoted, reenlisting, getting praised by that Master Gunns the other day... you wanted this deployment. That is why you extended 7 months to be able to go with your guys. It will be worth it. The next 4 years will be worth it too, trust me.

In other news - I realized today that I have only filled up my gas tank 3 times since moving to California almost 2 months ago. Either I don't have a life or I am good at conserving gas/money. Who knows. You decide. Also, any time I do laundry it's usually a full load of underwear and Pj's. So let's lean towards the "not having a life" end of this discussion. Soon, very soon, I can cook and clean and be the amazing wife I am supposed to be. Come on November, come on Thanksgiving. I am ready for you.