Monday, July 26, 2010

One Hell of a Ride (Day 87)

In the past few days there have been moments that weren't great, I was a complete mess. Late at night mostly. Emotions have been creeping there way in and I wouldn't say I am as bad as the first few days after he left, but damn close. Like my friend Tiff said, "Shit gets hard". And it's definitely hard right now. No real reason for it but maybe it has to do with being far enough into the deployment that I am forgetting what it's like to be held, to be kissed - and too far away to have it back. It's like Wednesday every day, too far from the previous weekend, not close enough to the coming weekend. It sucks. I just miss him so much, I miss our life. It's not even that I just miss him, I am so worried about him. So worried. I want him safe, in my sights, in my arms. I cry just thinking about him being safe, to know that no one wants him dead. I would give anything to bring him home right now. I'm scared for him, for us. I have been mostly positive since he left so I am trying to keep being positive. Don't think I am negative or giving up - it's just a rough patch I am going through. I can't expect to not have any meltdowns, in fact, I knew I would be going through one eventually. I can handle this and so can he. He's a Marine, he knows what he is doing. I'm just me, and even though I don't know what I'm doing I will act like I do.

Onto lighter, more happier news. I did some furniture shopping over the weekend. Total success. I bought an ottoman. Not just any ottoman, an extremely large one. Not in the color pictured below though; it's antique white and it is suede not corduroy. I talked the hubby into letting me buy this, and he better like it when he gets home or I am in big trouble :]

This will also be my bed for 2-3 months before he comes home. I don't want to pick out a mattress without him so it is just me and the couch for awhile. I don't mind though, I don't like the feeling of an empty bed anyhow. I mean, right now I am sleeping on a twin bed for that reason so a couch will be about the same. Tell me this thing isn't going to be awesome!

A couple weeks ago I bought two end tables at HomeGoods for $50. They were off-white and really cute, the problem was that they weren't wood. Well this weekend my Mom and I went into Goodwill as a last minute place to look; knowing that I wanted old furniture to fix up the way I wanted. We found two end tables that matched, we thought they were 12.99 a piece, but they ended up being 12.99 for both! What a deal. So today I am sanding them down so I can get ready to paint them. I turn the table over to sand the underneath parts and saw names burned into the wood and was thinking "Who puts their name on end tables?". Well I read the name and it said Ethan Allen. So there you have it, Ethan Allen end tables for the big cost of 13 bucks. That is why they were made with such nice wood and heavy glass. So here are the before and after pictures of my end tables! :] The first is before, the second is after.

And you can't really tell in the picture, but it is antiqued now. Ralph Lauren makes a glaze that you can buy in whatever color you want to antique your walls, furniture, etc.

Well the husband said that all we have really talked about the past week is furniture, and I said "That's all I've got at the moment".... just me and my furniture/decorating projects. So like I told him, this is all I have to talk about.

And this is me, sucking it up and making it through the next 130 days or so. This is me, deciding I won't be wearing make-up unless I am going somewhere important. And this is me, trying to keep up my figure for the hubbs - P90x is amazing.

Time for my workout and then watching movies til I can no longer keep my eyes open. Have an amazing week everyone!


  1. Hey, just found your blog on here. I am a Marine wife of 13 years and as tough as it may seem at times would not trade it for the world. Every deployment seems harder than the last only because the love grows stronger the longer I am with him. We have some amazing men willing to sacrifice so much for us and for those that they do not know. Keep your head up and enjoy the "YOU" time while he is away. The anxiety and the welcome home butterflies are alomst worth the wait.........Good luck:)

  2. Hi Brandee,

    13 years? I respect you for that and I thank you and your husband for what you do. I wouldn't trade this for the world either, I don't know what I would do without him. Thank you for the advice, and I can't wait for those welcome home butterflies!


  3. Ahhhh You are soooo sweet. It is an unpaved road all of the time. But well worth the ride. Come check out my blog. Not as advanced as some at this point, but my little thoughts here and there.

    Good luck to you and your hubby. And looks like you are doing a GREAT job in getting the house ready. Love your style:) Have a good day, and yes the butterflies are amazing!!!!!!!!!