Thursday, September 2, 2010

125 days, 126th night.

Sometimes I look at the timer on this blog and think it's useless. It doesn't ever really matter what the number is, it doesn't matter how far we've come, because we still have so much longer to go. And you're probably thinking 2 and a half months is nothing...and you're right. 2 and a half months is nothing, but not when you have already gone 125 days. Not when I haven't looked at my husband since May 1st. Not when I have spent 125 nights laying in bed and wondering how he is, where he is, and if he's thinking about me too. It's hard to look at 2 and a half months and say that it's "nothing".

It's hard telling civilians what it's like to go through a deployment, they just don't understand.

Not many will ever know what it's like to only talk to their husband on the phone for a 7 month period.

Not many will ever know what it's like to run to the store to buy everything their husband asked for, squeeze it into a small flat rate box, find an old receipt to write "I loveeee you" on and fill out a customs form by memory. BEFORE 1700. Hate that the post office closes so early. They definitely need a 24 hour post office for military families - and they need to make it have a Filly-B's inside, am I right!?

Not many will know what their husband is thinking about when he thinks he is about to die.

Not many will have to ask their husbands what they would want from them if they did die.

And not many can say that after a 3 and a half minute conversation with their husband after 5 days of no contact, that they smiled all day long.

He is my best friend and it kills me not to talk to him. Something happens and I just wait anxiously for that phone call or email so I can tell him about it. When I'm sick, I have kidney stones, a headache, a fever... I just really need to hear from him and can't. When I have a bad day I rely on myself to get through it. It flat out, sucks. I want him, I need him, and I can't for another 80 something days? Yeah 80 something....ugh.

Weikle found out that he is going "out and about" again (he literally just got back from the last time). I am not very happy about where he is going but that doesn't really matter to the Marine Corps. He'll be gone quite a while between the two different places he is going. Here we are, the last stretch of the deployment and he is going to the worst place that he has gone so far - I. Do. Not. Like. This. I do know that he is really stoked to be going and he is doing really well. Let me rephrase that....he is doing as good as he possibly can without me :] haha. Ugh, I miss this handsome Marine of a man. Whatta stud.

But I'm asking everyone to keep him in their thoughts and help us get through the next 4 to 5 weeks. They are gonna be rough.

"Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding onto."

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