It's been almost 8 months since he came home. Can you believe that!? It seems so unreal. It definitely does not feel like it has been that long ago.
Reading back through some of my previous posts sparks a lot of emotion inside me. It was so hard, almost unbearable at times. Seeing him leave now even if only for a week just breaks me and I feel so hurt. Then, two days into him being gone, I'm fine. I feel like he could be gone 7 months again. Not because I'm strong, or because I need my time alone, but because I know it benefits both of us for him to be doing what he loves to do. This deployment made me realize something about myself too. The military life is exactly what I need, because I need change. I can't stand being in the same apartment for too long, or working the same dead end job for longer than 6 months, etc. I thrive when I have new responsibilities, new surroundings.
Being in California makes me want new surroundings EVEN more. Words cannot even describe how horrible living here is. The people, the roads, the prices, everything. I hate it all. And my new job, its easy and totally worth the money, but these California people.... wait until you hear some of these stories. Everyone always says, "Don't you just love the beach?" and I just cringe. Because there is not one beach worth the day to day shit you put up with living in California. Four miles from the beach and I have been there maybe 4 times in the past year. I just want to be out of the city. I want to have my 2-5 acres, dirt roads, and not almost be rear ended 5 times a day. I'm so over California.